Stick to Snake

During my early morning meditation in the still and dark, I asked the Lord if there is a lapse in my faith.  I admit that it was due in part to a strange dream that I had, but it will always be a good question:  “Lord, is there anything that I think You cannot do?”

This bit of soul searching was a good opportunity to deal with some struggles that I was having with God’s will.  I have not always liked what God chose to do, but I recognize that He is doing the choosing, He is in complete control.  It may be partly my nature, but I really believe that He can do anything with anybody, not just in abstract, general terms, but also in a practical sense in my life.  On this occasion, the prime discovery that I made is that I do not believe that God can make something extraordinary out of me.

This was not a great achievement in humility, it is just a matter of knowing myself as well as I do.  My moment of clarity was to get beyond the self-deception with which I am often plagued.  The truth is that in forty years of walking with the Lord I have always managed to go right from progress to regress.

I am always looking for a bit of self-improvement and I am coming to see it as spiritual micro-evolution.  I make slight but mostly helpful adjustments to the old man, my old nature.  I have never believed in macro-evolution, one species changing into another, and apparently I have come to a sad acceptance of my mediocre spiritual species.  What I lack in faith in the worst way (at the moment) is belief in God’s ability to change me!

II Peter 1:3-5 “According as his divine power hath given unto us all things that pertain unto life and godliness, through the knowledge of him that hath called us to glory and virtue:  Whereby are given unto us exceeding great and precious promises: that by these ye might be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world through lust. And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge.”

My lack of faith is not a respectable problem, it is an unacceptable condition.  I know that I must constantly build my faith, and this is clearly a major building project which needs to begin now.  Knowledge is important, but, as Peter said, it must be built upon faith and virtue.  For instance, I know that God changed Moses’ stick into a snake, but I just do not see that happening in my life.  I guess that I do not like the stick or snake as a personal metaphor!  Moses himself, though, went through some major life-transformations, as did Peter and Paul.  Those men are good examples because they had additional major life-makeovers even after their conversion.  I know that God can work at all stages of life, but perhaps the missing link between my faith and my knowledge is virtue.  I need a love for God and His work that is greater than my love for myself or anything in this world.

I do not need a new job, but I do need new determination to be all that God wants me to be.  I need to be renewed as God’s child, as a husband, as a father, and in all my relationships in this world.  A first step to seeing it happen will be believing that God can make it happen.  The Lord asked both Abraham and Jeremiah, “is there any thing too hard for me?”  He asked me as well, and I know the answer.  Now I just need to know the victory.